When Life Gets in the Way

It happens to us all: we just get busy, or something specific comes along to take up all our energy. At times like these, it's easy to neglect the very things that nourish us, those things that would help us to keep going and to weather the storm.

Unfortunately, this can so easily set up a vicious circle in which we can't get everything done (or can't concentrate enough to get anything done thanks to the current crisis), and our lack of self-care makes this worse while at the same time we feel we can't afford the time for self-care - as though it's some kind of luxury that we only deserve when everything's perfect. Sound familiar? I think it's true of many of us, and can certainly recognise these tendencies in myself.

Spiritual practices such as meditation and rituals can be - should be - part of this self-care and shouldn't be neglected, no matter how desperately we feel the time should be spent on something 'important'. The truth is, if we're neglecting ourselves, everything else will not be, cannot be done satisfactorily. I'm not saying that we should all spend hours a day in meditation or visualisation - that level of practice definitely sounds like a luxury! But actually, once you've established the habit, a few minutes can lift you out of your hamster wheel enough to give you a recharge.

Affirmations: the chakras and the elements

Here are two sets of affirmations that I use regularly. I wrote them quite specifically to help me, so some of the ideas may need tweaking for your circumstances.

This first one I recite while focusing on each chakra in turn:

• I am grounded: a child of the earth.  Energy flows through me into her warm darkness.
• I am vital: a creature of impulse.  I am free to express my sexuality without fear.
• I am comfortable: a being of value.  My existence enriches the world.
• I am loved: a woman of warmth.  I have the power to reach out to others.
• I am vocal: a person of confidence.  My truth is worthwhile for the world to hear.
• I am open: a soul of clarity.  My wisdom is welcomed by others.
• I am connected: a spirit of light.  Energy flows through me from her bright openness.

If you're new to working with chakras, this is a good introduction.

This second one I use with my four elements prayer beads bracelet, as a kind of gratitude prayer, helping me to focus on the blessings I receive through each element:

I earn the means to live comfortably in the world.
I share my knowledge with others.
I experience a connection with the divine through all things.
I feel the love of those around and before me.

These four lines run through Earth, Air, Fire, Water. I conclude on the pentacle with a reminder that "I am blessed".

I hope these help somebody. I certainly find them useful in setting my thoughts to 'positive' :)

P: Prayer Beads

A while ago, I discovered a wonderful book called Pagan Prayer Beads by John Michael Greer and Clare Vaughn, which explains how to make your own prayer beads, as well as giving lots of ideas about how to use them. Basically, they're a meditation/visualisation/spell aid, which you use to help you focus. You have a mantra or chant to say with each bead, and you just follow the chain around. You can have your beads in blocked sets - for example, I have a lovely druidic set that I bought at an event, which has nine beads each in green, yellow and blue for the land, sky and sea - or you can use a repeating pattern. This prayer bead bracelet that I made has beads for the elements: tiger's eye chips for the earth, citrine for the air, polished red wood for fire and lapis lazuli for water.

I have used the one I made with various different sets of words, and sometimes when I'm preparing a spell or ritual, I'll use it to help me focus on how to work with each element. I also love that it's a bracelet, so I can wear it and remind myself of the blessings of each element discreetly.

L: Love Spells and Misconceptions

I thought I'd take the chance at this point to begin to dispel some of the fears and misconceptions that people have about paganism, many of which can be rather neatly exemplified by the concept of the 'Love Spell'.

A Love Spell is something that sounds nice, love after all being a positive force, yet a love spell - in the popular imagination - is a thing of evil. Robbing someone of a basic human right - free will - and seeking control over that person's emotions, creating love magically would have to be a bad thing. I find it impossible to believe that a real pagan would never cast such a spell.

Spellwork is usually about attracting or repelling something, and is most often about self-development in practice. Most pagans who do cast spells (not all do, of course) would probably not hesitate to cast a spell to help them find the love they're meant to have, to put themselves in the position to meet the right person. But love spells as in the movies (make X love me) - that's a big fat no-no.

In any spellwork, you have to think about possible consequences, and try to reduce these as far as possible. Some Wiccans in particular will include a line in their spells about working only for the good of all involved, or 'harming none', effectively asking the Universe to make sure that their request wouldn't be bad for anyone else before granting it.

Personally, I find that spells are a kind of meditation focus. I find it a useful exercise in making certain that I've clearly identified what it is I want (e.g. not simply 'a job' but I would be fairly precise about location, type of work, salary, hours etc - and make sure I add in something about harming none, so I don't have to worry about being responsible for someone else losing their job). I like to include the appropriate coloured candle, relevant incense or essential oil etc and to have something to do (e.g. create something to go on the altar to remind me of the spell), as well as a clear statement of intent which can then be used as a mantra for the following few days. I find that organising all that helps me to focus and be clear about what I want. It's definitely true that no-effort spells are more likely to be no-result spells. It's really not as simple as waving a wand!

I: Incense

Image from Circle of Healing Center

Incense is an important component in formal rituals (like in Wicca or Druidry), used to represent the element of air. It's also useful in meditation, visualisation or spellworking (which, for me, is effectively a kind of visualisation with focus objects).

Incense is said to have been used in religious ceremonies for centuries as a means to carry offerings to the Gods. Traditional ground incense, made from valuable spices, fruits and resins, is smouldered over charcoal to allow its scent to be carried via smoke.

The reason it is useful in religious practices including ritual, visualisation and meditation is that it often includes ingredients such as Frankincense, which has the physical property of regulating breathing. This obviously has a calming effect and aids participants to focus.

Many new age and magickal supply shops sell a huge range of granular incenses these days, as well as the charcoal tablets and bronze censers, which can be found in pagan-friendly designs. Themed incenses for particular intents, or to work with specific deities are readily available, or you can make your own (although this is something I've never tried personally). I must admit to being a bit of a sucker for incense blends. I have them for the four elements, various intentions (divination, healing etc) and some specific energies and themes (e.g. a Green Man one and an Egyptian one).