When Life Gets in the Way

It happens to us all: we just get busy, or something specific comes along to take up all our energy. At times like these, it's easy to neglect the very things that nourish us, those things that would help us to keep going and to weather the storm.

Unfortunately, this can so easily set up a vicious circle in which we can't get everything done (or can't concentrate enough to get anything done thanks to the current crisis), and our lack of self-care makes this worse while at the same time we feel we can't afford the time for self-care - as though it's some kind of luxury that we only deserve when everything's perfect. Sound familiar? I think it's true of many of us, and can certainly recognise these tendencies in myself.

Spiritual practices such as meditation and rituals can be - should be - part of this self-care and shouldn't be neglected, no matter how desperately we feel the time should be spent on something 'important'. The truth is, if we're neglecting ourselves, everything else will not be, cannot be done satisfactorily. I'm not saying that we should all spend hours a day in meditation or visualisation - that level of practice definitely sounds like a luxury! But actually, once you've established the habit, a few minutes can lift you out of your hamster wheel enough to give you a recharge.

Affirmations: the chakras and the elements

Here are two sets of affirmations that I use regularly. I wrote them quite specifically to help me, so some of the ideas may need tweaking for your circumstances.

This first one I recite while focusing on each chakra in turn:

• I am grounded: a child of the earth.  Energy flows through me into her warm darkness.
• I am vital: a creature of impulse.  I am free to express my sexuality without fear.
• I am comfortable: a being of value.  My existence enriches the world.
• I am loved: a woman of warmth.  I have the power to reach out to others.
• I am vocal: a person of confidence.  My truth is worthwhile for the world to hear.
• I am open: a soul of clarity.  My wisdom is welcomed by others.
• I am connected: a spirit of light.  Energy flows through me from her bright openness.

If you're new to working with chakras, this is a good introduction.

This second one I use with my four elements prayer beads bracelet, as a kind of gratitude prayer, helping me to focus on the blessings I receive through each element:

I earn the means to live comfortably in the world.
I share my knowledge with others.
I experience a connection with the divine through all things.
I feel the love of those around and before me.

These four lines run through Earth, Air, Fire, Water. I conclude on the pentacle with a reminder that "I am blessed".

I hope these help somebody. I certainly find them useful in setting my thoughts to 'positive' :)

V: Visualisation

I've written here before about my difficulties with visualisation, but that hasn't stopped me making good use of it in my family life. Personally, I've had difficulties with stress and depression since I was a teenager, so I think that teaching my children to handle stress is one of the most important things I've done. One of the ways I've done that is by teaching them visualisation techniques for relaxation.

Since our daughters were quite young (maybe 2 or 3 - I'm not really sure now), I helped them to get to sleep by putting them (each) in a bubble. This involved talking through a basic relaxation visualisation, where their auras were flooded with colour, while running my hands over the aura (like sealing the bubble). Initially, I'd suggest what colour they should see themselves bathed in, but eventually they could choose based on their mood (with minimal direction from me, such as steering her away from black or red - not great bedtime colours).

As well as the bubble, when they were a little older I also taught them some other visualisations or meditations to help them drift off. We also gave them a CD of children's guided meditations (from Toni Carmine Salerno), which they really enjoy. I've found that from doing these simple sleep exercises, they've become quite proficient at using their breath to calm themselves down. My hope is that this will prove to have set them up well in life

S: Symbols

The language of symbols is important to me in lots of ways. Obviously, as a Tarot reader, I need to understand and interpret the cards using a range of symbols, and also spells and visualisations often work by symbol, making use of the associations we have with things. In my more mundane life, though, I am an English teacher and work a lot with both language - which is a system of symbols - and literature, which relies heavily on our symbolic literacy.

Now, as an adult, I find it amusing to look back and think how much I always loved moons, hares and green men. Now, as a pagan, I see my attraction to these images as evidence that I was always drawn to the pagan path. Both the moon and the hare are goddess symbols, while the green man is associated with Cernunnos, Herne, Pan, Robin Hood and/or Robin Goodfellow: all lords of the forest.

How much richer our lives can be when we allow ourselves to connect with the language of symbols! Symbolic communication can be deeper than communication using words, since it can connect directly to the subconscious without requiring the medium of language which is, essentially, an abstraction.

P: Prayer Beads

A while ago, I discovered a wonderful book called Pagan Prayer Beads by John Michael Greer and Clare Vaughn, which explains how to make your own prayer beads, as well as giving lots of ideas about how to use them. Basically, they're a meditation/visualisation/spell aid, which you use to help you focus. You have a mantra or chant to say with each bead, and you just follow the chain around. You can have your beads in blocked sets - for example, I have a lovely druidic set that I bought at an event, which has nine beads each in green, yellow and blue for the land, sky and sea - or you can use a repeating pattern. This prayer bead bracelet that I made has beads for the elements: tiger's eye chips for the earth, citrine for the air, polished red wood for fire and lapis lazuli for water.

I have used the one I made with various different sets of words, and sometimes when I'm preparing a spell or ritual, I'll use it to help me focus on how to work with each element. I also love that it's a bracelet, so I can wear it and remind myself of the blessings of each element discreetly.

J: Journeying

Now this is something I have not done enough of. I fall too easily into the trap of being too busy and don't often enough give myself the time for mediation and visualisation. Plus, of course, I find it difficult, and it's always easier to put off something that doesn't come easily, right?

Siberian shaman, drawn by Dutch explorer Witsen in the 17th century

Journeying (sometimes described as 'shamanic journeying'), in its simplest form, is a kind of visualisation where you take a journey. This can be guided, or free form, but usually there is some kind of musical accompaniment, often drumming. It can be specifically linked to kinds of wisdom - for example, you can journey into a Tarot card, or to get to know Gods from a particular pantheon - or you can let your Higher Self, Inner Self or subconscious (or whatever you choose to name it) lead you where you need to go. On such freestyle journeys, it can help to have a natural location in mind to visualise as your starting point. I usually use a forest, since that feels comfortable to me. What makes it a journey, rather than just a meditation, is the idea of movement, however pre-planned or left to chance that may be.

My problem is a visual one. I really struggle to visualise and to actually see anything. I can talk myself through any kind of meditation or visualisation, and I can imagine things, but in the literal sense of visualisation, which clearly links to sight, I fail. I wonder if it's because I am not, as the kids at school would say, a 'visual learner'. It's funny, because I can respond to visual stimuli - reading the Tarot would be a bit difficult otherwise! - but even when reading I don't 'see' things. I know or sense things, having learnt to trust my intuition, but there's no sense of getting visions or any degree of clairvoyance.