When Life Gets in the Way

It happens to us all: we just get busy, or something specific comes along to take up all our energy. At times like these, it's easy to neglect the very things that nourish us, those things that would help us to keep going and to weather the storm.

Unfortunately, this can so easily set up a vicious circle in which we can't get everything done (or can't concentrate enough to get anything done thanks to the current crisis), and our lack of self-care makes this worse while at the same time we feel we can't afford the time for self-care - as though it's some kind of luxury that we only deserve when everything's perfect. Sound familiar? I think it's true of many of us, and can certainly recognise these tendencies in myself.

Spiritual practices such as meditation and rituals can be - should be - part of this self-care and shouldn't be neglected, no matter how desperately we feel the time should be spent on something 'important'. The truth is, if we're neglecting ourselves, everything else will not be, cannot be done satisfactorily. I'm not saying that we should all spend hours a day in meditation or visualisation - that level of practice definitely sounds like a luxury! But actually, once you've established the habit, a few minutes can lift you out of your hamster wheel enough to give you a recharge.

Pendulum divining

Dowsing with a pendulum is simple and quite often shockingly effective. I have several pendulums on single chains, made and bought specifically for dowsing (see the lovely amethyst and moonstone ones), but I also sometimes use the wand pendant in the picture if I'm wearing it as a necklace.

I always dowse by holding the chain between thumb and finger of my right hand (some say it should be the left as left = intuitive side), and rest my elbow on a flat surface. I begin by asking the pendulum if it can help me. There are three main ways I use a pendulum: for yes/no questions; to choose between things and with more complex pendulum dowsing diagrams.

Yes/no questions

This is clearly the easiest way to use a pendulum. Some books/people will tell you that a certain way means yes and another no, but I find it easiest to ask the pendulum  "show me yes" etc.. I first dowsed this way without reading instructions and 'my' way for yes and no isn't what the books say. I get side to side for yes, front and back for no and round for 'not telling/don't know/you shouldn't be asking that'. It is also possible to gauge the strength of the answer from the range of movement - it really does swing more strongly and definitively for some answers than for others.

Choosing between things

I've used this for things like "which tarot deck would help me most for this question" or "which aromatherapy oil do I need most right now", and I simply lay the things out and hold the pendulum in the middle. Although it seems like it would have to swing back as far as it swings out, and therefore indicate two things, this is invariably not what happens. I've seen many people amazed that it will seem to swing out a long way one side and then barely pass the middle point to go in the other direction.You can use this for choosing between two things, placed left and right to the pendulum, or you can lay several around it in a circular pattern. You can also dowse over each of several things with "should I use this?" or a similar question and go with the one with the largest positive answer. I've also done something like this for essential oils - selected three or four to make a blend, and then dowsed for how many drops of each (using a diagram as below). Inevitably, this results in a blend which also treats something I wouldn't have thought to include otherwise (e.g. a 'help me concentrate and work' blend with anti-anxiety oils in it).

Dowsing diagrams

Years ago, I bought a book called "The Pendulum Workbook" (now sadly out of print) which is full of complex diagrams to be dowsed over to select things. The basic principle revolves around circles. Imagine you wanted a complementary therapy for a condition, but you don't know which to choose. Draw a circle and around the edge list the possibilities (homeopathy, aromatherapy etc etc - depending on what's appropriate and available to you). Then you hold the pendulum over the very centre of the circle and ask it to indicate what you should choose, and it will swing out to the right choice. Again, you would expect it to not be able to avoid indicating two things which are positioned opposite one another on the circle, since you begin in the middle, but again - amazingly - this is not what happens.

Another diagram that I learnt to use with a pendulum diagnoses the flow of energy in a person's chakras. You draw a simple (stick figure if need be!) outline of a person and put a dot at each chakra position. Then hold the pendulum over each spot in turn and draw onto the diagram what the pendulum did at each point. A closed or very low energy chakra will result in no movement, one that's just opening (or closing) will give you a diagonal oval and an open chakra gives you a circle. It's worth recording which direction round the pendulum went (they should alternate between clockwise and counter-clockwise). Further questions can be asked to find out whether a certain chakra is opening or closing, why there's a problem at a certain point etc, using yes/no questions or setting up another diagram if you have several possibilities to explore.

Affirmations: the chakras and the elements

Here are two sets of affirmations that I use regularly. I wrote them quite specifically to help me, so some of the ideas may need tweaking for your circumstances.

This first one I recite while focusing on each chakra in turn:

• I am grounded: a child of the earth.  Energy flows through me into her warm darkness.
• I am vital: a creature of impulse.  I am free to express my sexuality without fear.
• I am comfortable: a being of value.  My existence enriches the world.
• I am loved: a woman of warmth.  I have the power to reach out to others.
• I am vocal: a person of confidence.  My truth is worthwhile for the world to hear.
• I am open: a soul of clarity.  My wisdom is welcomed by others.
• I am connected: a spirit of light.  Energy flows through me from her bright openness.

If you're new to working with chakras, this is a good introduction.

This second one I use with my four elements prayer beads bracelet, as a kind of gratitude prayer, helping me to focus on the blessings I receive through each element:

I earn the means to live comfortably in the world.
I share my knowledge with others.
I experience a connection with the divine through all things.
I feel the love of those around and before me.

These four lines run through Earth, Air, Fire, Water. I conclude on the pentacle with a reminder that "I am blessed".

I hope these help somebody. I certainly find them useful in setting my thoughts to 'positive' :)

R: Rhythm

The pagan year has a clear rhythm, with a solar festival roughly every six weeks, and of course the thirteen moon cycles of the year.

Although I recognise that these are not truly ancient festivals (the Wheel of the Year as we now know it was conceptualised in the 1950s when Wicca was constructed), this is not a particular concern for me. My paganism is not about trying to recreate ancient practice exactly as it was centuries (or millenia) ago; it's about celebrating and connecting to the universe in a way that makes sense to me.

I appreciate the festivals, both solar and lunar, because they remind us of the natural cycles around us, which it's all too easy to be disconnected from these days, living as distantly from nature as we do. This, for me, is a key reason that paganism enriches my life. It enables me to feel connected and part of the universe, in a way that I never had previously. It's particularly interesting to me as a woman to see how my own natural hormonal cycles relate to those in nature, and I don't think that this is something I would have been aware of otherwise.

How rhythmic is your life?

Q: Quiet

Peace is a rare commodity in our modern lives, and of course this makes it all the more valuable. Time for quiet thought and meditation, whether it's with a spiritual focus or not, is precious and highly beneficial.

We all know this, but finding that time for oneself can sometimes feel selfish. It's easy to feel that we're 'stealing' time from others or from our responsibilities, when of course the truth is that a few minutes in quiet contemplation can make us more effective and efficient in our many roles.

For me, the best time to grab those few minutes to myself is in the early morning. I'm used now to getting up before everyone else, before I really 'need' to for work, to give myself that bit of space that will start my day off right. The odd times I don't manage it, or I foolishly fill that time with other things, I really notice the difference to my mood and my attitude, and I'm far less able to cope with things. I'm an anxious type, and have had difficulties dealing with stress in my everyday life, so I know that it's important to do this for me, to give me every chance to function the best that I can. At the same time, those very tendencies - and my busy work life (teaching, writing textbooks and teacher resources and trying to write children's fiction too) - can mean I squeeze out my quiet time to get more words done, more marking done etc and start the day frazzled.

The importance of those few quiet minutes - and really, just a few minutes can do the job - cannot be overstated.

P: Prayer Beads

A while ago, I discovered a wonderful book called Pagan Prayer Beads by John Michael Greer and Clare Vaughn, which explains how to make your own prayer beads, as well as giving lots of ideas about how to use them. Basically, they're a meditation/visualisation/spell aid, which you use to help you focus. You have a mantra or chant to say with each bead, and you just follow the chain around. You can have your beads in blocked sets - for example, I have a lovely druidic set that I bought at an event, which has nine beads each in green, yellow and blue for the land, sky and sea - or you can use a repeating pattern. This prayer bead bracelet that I made has beads for the elements: tiger's eye chips for the earth, citrine for the air, polished red wood for fire and lapis lazuli for water.

I have used the one I made with various different sets of words, and sometimes when I'm preparing a spell or ritual, I'll use it to help me focus on how to work with each element. I also love that it's a bracelet, so I can wear it and remind myself of the blessings of each element discreetly.

L: Love Spells and Misconceptions

I thought I'd take the chance at this point to begin to dispel some of the fears and misconceptions that people have about paganism, many of which can be rather neatly exemplified by the concept of the 'Love Spell'.

A Love Spell is something that sounds nice, love after all being a positive force, yet a love spell - in the popular imagination - is a thing of evil. Robbing someone of a basic human right - free will - and seeking control over that person's emotions, creating love magically would have to be a bad thing. I find it impossible to believe that a real pagan would never cast such a spell.

Spellwork is usually about attracting or repelling something, and is most often about self-development in practice. Most pagans who do cast spells (not all do, of course) would probably not hesitate to cast a spell to help them find the love they're meant to have, to put themselves in the position to meet the right person. But love spells as in the movies (make X love me) - that's a big fat no-no.

In any spellwork, you have to think about possible consequences, and try to reduce these as far as possible. Some Wiccans in particular will include a line in their spells about working only for the good of all involved, or 'harming none', effectively asking the Universe to make sure that their request wouldn't be bad for anyone else before granting it.

Personally, I find that spells are a kind of meditation focus. I find it a useful exercise in making certain that I've clearly identified what it is I want (e.g. not simply 'a job' but I would be fairly precise about location, type of work, salary, hours etc - and make sure I add in something about harming none, so I don't have to worry about being responsible for someone else losing their job). I like to include the appropriate coloured candle, relevant incense or essential oil etc and to have something to do (e.g. create something to go on the altar to remind me of the spell), as well as a clear statement of intent which can then be used as a mantra for the following few days. I find that organising all that helps me to focus and be clear about what I want. It's definitely true that no-effort spells are more likely to be no-result spells. It's really not as simple as waving a wand!

J: Journeying

Now this is something I have not done enough of. I fall too easily into the trap of being too busy and don't often enough give myself the time for mediation and visualisation. Plus, of course, I find it difficult, and it's always easier to put off something that doesn't come easily, right?

Siberian shaman, drawn by Dutch explorer Witsen in the 17th century

Journeying (sometimes described as 'shamanic journeying'), in its simplest form, is a kind of visualisation where you take a journey. This can be guided, or free form, but usually there is some kind of musical accompaniment, often drumming. It can be specifically linked to kinds of wisdom - for example, you can journey into a Tarot card, or to get to know Gods from a particular pantheon - or you can let your Higher Self, Inner Self or subconscious (or whatever you choose to name it) lead you where you need to go. On such freestyle journeys, it can help to have a natural location in mind to visualise as your starting point. I usually use a forest, since that feels comfortable to me. What makes it a journey, rather than just a meditation, is the idea of movement, however pre-planned or left to chance that may be.

My problem is a visual one. I really struggle to visualise and to actually see anything. I can talk myself through any kind of meditation or visualisation, and I can imagine things, but in the literal sense of visualisation, which clearly links to sight, I fail. I wonder if it's because I am not, as the kids at school would say, a 'visual learner'. It's funny, because I can respond to visual stimuli - reading the Tarot would be a bit difficult otherwise! - but even when reading I don't 'see' things. I know or sense things, having learnt to trust my intuition, but there's no sense of getting visions or any degree of clairvoyance.

I: Incense

Image from Circle of Healing Center

Incense is an important component in formal rituals (like in Wicca or Druidry), used to represent the element of air. It's also useful in meditation, visualisation or spellworking (which, for me, is effectively a kind of visualisation with focus objects).

Incense is said to have been used in religious ceremonies for centuries as a means to carry offerings to the Gods. Traditional ground incense, made from valuable spices, fruits and resins, is smouldered over charcoal to allow its scent to be carried via smoke.

The reason it is useful in religious practices including ritual, visualisation and meditation is that it often includes ingredients such as Frankincense, which has the physical property of regulating breathing. This obviously has a calming effect and aids participants to focus.

Many new age and magickal supply shops sell a huge range of granular incenses these days, as well as the charcoal tablets and bronze censers, which can be found in pagan-friendly designs. Themed incenses for particular intents, or to work with specific deities are readily available, or you can make your own (although this is something I've never tried personally). I must admit to being a bit of a sucker for incense blends. I have them for the four elements, various intentions (divination, healing etc) and some specific energies and themes (e.g. a Green Man one and an Egyptian one).

H: Holy Days and Holidays

The Wheel of the Year

So, how do we celebrate holidays as a family? It's nothing like as straightforward a question as it should be, for several reasons, including:

• My immediate family includes practising Christians who aren't aware of my paganism
• Christianity was forced on me as a child and I don't want to do the same to my children
• The culture I live in (the UK) is very much organised around Christian festivals

So, we celebrate Christmas with gifts and a tree, Easter with eggs (or other gifts) and I mark the Wheel of the Year festivals by myself. I keep an altar in the living room on the hearth, and do change it according to the season and any particular intent I'm working with. My family know about the festivals and sometimes have wanted to celebrate with me, but it's not an expectation. There are aspects of my practice that impact our family life (mostly natural living things rather than specific spiritual practices), but I generally keep the seasons in a solitary manner.

Image credit: By Midnightblueowl [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

E: Environment

Environmentalism is, I believe, important to those on a pagan path. If we venerate the earth and celebrate the turn of the seasons, surely doing all we can to protect the earth's resources becomes a sacred duty?

That said, I know I don't live in the greenest way possible. After all, here I am in my heated home, typing on a laptop under an electric light. Maybe if I were truly committed, I'd be generating my own electricity, or living in a hut in the woods. And yet, I am part of society, trying to minimise my family's impact on the environment while not entirely denying ourselves the benefits of these modern times.

I support Friends of the Earth and my local Wildlife Trust and get involved in campaigns (like the #beecause) where I can contribute, perhaps by writing to my MP, demonstrating my concern. We recycle (does anyone really not, these days?), we try to avoid the culture of disposable consumerism, we don't waste food or buy lots of prepackaged and highly processed foods, our home is insulated and we use low energy light bulbs et cetera et cetera. And we regularly make good use of the countryside around us - our two dogs might have some complaints if we didn't!

Ultimately, it's a tricky one. Being 'green' takes effort (like anything worthwhile, you might say), but how much is enough?

B: Batons, Wands or Flame Songs

Batons for the Tarot de Marseille; Wands for Rider-Waite-Smith- inspired decks; Flame Songs for the wonderful Songs for the Journey Home.

Tarot is a system, but it's not as firm and fixed as some would have you believe. The cards have well-established meanings and possible interpretations, but different decks offer different shades within the pallette of possibilities. Thanks to this range, readings with different decks can take on different tones, and I have found some decks better suited to some kinds of reading than others.

In the example of the suit names that title this post, all relate to the fire element, with both batons and wands reminding us of something wooden, crafted by human hand from a living tree. Flame Songs is more direct, going straight to the element itself, but the cards within these suits all unite in themes of creativity, busy-ness (and business) and of projects requiring complex skills. For me, fire is the element most involved in spiritual belief - more instinctive than intellectual, more gut-reaction than emotion - and this idea can be seen woven through various cards from these suits also.

The flexibility and range within the broad structure of tarot is one of the things I love about it. Sometimes I'll read with two decks, comparing the angles I get by shuffling and drawing with one and then seeking out the same cards in the other. My knowledge of tarot has also enabled me to use themed decks to learn more about other subjects including Greek myth (The Mythic Tarot), the Celtic tradition (The Celtic Wisdom Tarot) and the sacred landscape of Britain (The Sacred Circle Tarot).

Basically, once again, I arrive at the conclusion that I enjoy making connections between things. Another reminder of the web that binds all things.

What do you mean, a pragmatic pagan?

Welcome to my new blog, on this equinox, one of the traditional markers of the coming of Spring.

I thought it might be a good idea to start this blog off with a bit of background info: a kind of mission statement, if you will.

I've called this place "A Pragmatic Pagan" because I think that sums up my practical and eclectic approach to my pagan practice. At the same time, I hope it doesn't smack of too much 'what's-in-it-for-me-ism'. I'm not a proponent of all take and no give, but I also feel that paganism compares favourably with, say Christianity (I was raised in a very Protestant home) in terms of not insisting that greater misery = greater faith.

My pagan journey is, I believe, something I've been on all my life. I just didn't always know it. I define myself as pagan rather than a more specific path, because I am eclectic in my practice. There have been times that I've felt the label of 'witch' applies, and at other times, I've felt drawn to Druidry or to paths which try to follow ancient Anglo-Saxon belief.

Divination is central to my practice, mostly because it was the first thing I regularly did that was concretely part of this path. I've been working with the Tarot since the first half of the 1990s, and the cards remain my staple divinatory technique. I'll be using this space to experiment with different spreads and reviewing different decks and approaches to divination.

I also feel that my commitment to complementary health and folk medicine, along with a cynical approach to modern medicine, is an essential part of my pagan identity and belief. Natural substances, such as essential oils, herbs and crystals are available to us and are often at least as effective as more 'scientific' approaches. I'll also be sharing some home remedy tips from time to time.

Finally, spellwork, ritual and meditation are of course part of my practice, although for me these are more private aspects of my paganism. I have sometimes shared rituals with the family (I am married with two daughters currently aged 14 and 9), and I do have an altar in the living room, but most of this work is quiet and internal. Again, I may share some ideas and practices here from time to time.

So, this is me - or at least, my practice. I'm planning to post here weekly, on Saturdays, but to really get this blog established, I'll be doing the A-Z Challenge, with a pagan theme. My A-Z will feature aspects of my pragmatic practice, embedding my beliefs into my busy daily life, as this will be my blog's general theme.